I want to have sex with a woman.
(minutes pass)
It's not working.
"Dear God, send a hot woman for me to have sex with."
(more time passes)
Still nothing.
"Hello, Satan, it's me, Nick Griffin. Yes, I realize it has been weeks since we last chatted. But I really want to have sex with a woman and I know that you know a few that are, shall we say "morally compromised. So cough one up, pointy head. or I'm going to throw in with the Lord."
(a dingo howls. the wind blows.)
"President Bush, you are a dummy. I hate you and your stupid dopey white guy nervous superiority. I hate your fake love of God and baseball and wearing shirts in your off time that are supposed to make you appear like a regular person. But If you get me a cool woman that will make sweet sex with me, I will vote for you come September and not talk bad of you to my friend Satan."
(one minute goes by)
"Dear, Satan. President George W. Bush told me he saw you in the bus station blowing a guy."
The room suddenly gets hotter.And I projectile vomit green goo but, alas, no girl.
"Oprah, this is the first time I have ever written a letter like this. But something has come to my attention that I think you might be interested in - my erection. Like the troubles in Darfur, this is a problem that is not going to go away soon. But if everyone does their part we can at least ease the pain of those most in need - my erection."
My phone does not ring. My email sits vacant.
"Alright, penis. I have some bad news."
3 comments:
Sometimes those women come along and offer, but the time is not right for the guy, then the guy comes along and is ready and its off for the girl...its all about timing, cant you see
Hey Nick,
God called me. I just got the message today. I would have so been there. Tell god to text me next time.
Not getting an erection when you want one is usually called erectile dysfunction (ED) or impotence. Nearly all men suffer from ED from time to time. http://www.viagrathunder.com
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